If you had to choose between being stuck on an island for the rest of your life with the "vallejo socialite" or being afflicted with forever raving syndrome from getting a flu shot, what form of suicide would you commit in order to avoid either situation?
simple and eloquent... death by Snoo-Snoo
if i was superman and you were lois lane, to what lengths would you go to find out the size of my ... tights?
if i were lois lane, i'd come to the conclusion that all men in tights are fags... yes, even YOU superman... even you.
have you ever taken a bath and stayed in the tub until all the water drained out?
yes, back when mother earth didn't give a fuck about that shit.
Guys or girls?
guys are hoes, girls are sluts; would prefer being around men and women most often.
Any juicy rumors?
besides knowing one of my friends have webbed feet? none thus far.
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Friday, December 11, 2009
This one : That one :: Old one : New one
A long time ago, when family was important to me, an Aunt and Uncle of mine just so happened to swindle my Grandmother out of the deed to her own house. Without getting deep into it, time went by and the family had to sell the house to pay off the lawyers' fees. In the end, my Grandmother walks away empty handed and homeless.
A few months pass and we got in contact with one of my cousins, asking him where he lives. The word on the street was they were renting a house near my parents house.
"I can't tell you that," my cousin says shamefully.
We told our cousin whatever drama our parents have with each other, shouldn't be a reason for us to cast judgment on you. God forbid anyone judge me based on the shady things my parents have done... my mom is a bookie for fuck sake.
Which brings me to the ulam of my story: What makes a person measure someone's behavior with one yard stick, then measures another person's behavior with the same yard stick?
the observation
Over the past couple of years of singlehood, I've notice a trend in the behaviors of those around me. Whether we're talking, dating, getting to know each other, putting the fun in friendship, or even just enjoying each others company; there always comes a point where someone is compared to the "proverbial" ex. Either your significant other compares themselves to your "ex" or you are compared to their "ex". I'm pretty sure there are various other outcomes to this equation; however, in my case, it was the 'other' that did the comparing.
the comparison
Again, without getting too deep into it (and also not naming any names), the person I was seeing at the time kept comparing our relationship with that of 9 years. Although our time together was relatively brief --shorter than any of those relationships in the Tigergate scandal-- a substantial amount of time and energy was spent arguing the irrelevance between my relationship with my ex and my current relationship. For that reason alone, I always make it a point to not talk about an ex during the time I'm trying to get to know you.
(btw, if you use the term "Tigergate or Climategate" in the last 72 hours, you should be tarred, feathered, then have your body dragged in the middle of Tianamen Square and given a choice to either be shot or ran over by a tank.)
More recently, a friend of mine and I got into a simple debate about the appropriate length of time it takes to take a decent shower. For those of you who REALLY know me, knows that I like to ensure some type of bathing before, after, and sometimes during anything that involves some kind of high intensity sweating. In this case, (if you don't follow me on Twitter) I haven't taken a shower for 2 days since there was no hot water at my place. You Betcha By Golly Wow I wasn't livin' on the edge during those 48 hours.
Nonetheless, after much humiliation, I decided to give in and say I won't take long showers anymore... when I'm showering over there (in my defense I live alone and no one has ever complained how long my showers take). To be honest, I just wanted to acknowledge his concern and move on; however, catching on to my disinterest in the subject matter, he then says, "See! That's what [expletive] used to do and I HATE that. That's why I know it'll never workout between me and you."
SIDE NOTE:
Before continuing on, I just wanted to clarify the latter part of the quote didn't hurt as much as the former; but in the end, a judgment was made on me based on someone I've never met before. I guess that's what bothered me the most.
the conclusion
After thinking about this for a couple of days, I confronted my friend about his backhanded comment and he ironically pointed to a quote from his ex's Facebook page.
"you will blame a new love for something the old one did"
If we go on the supposition that we are a reflection of our loved ones, then we support the basic anthropological human expression, "we are attracted to things that remind us of ourselves."
"Separate evolution of the self isn’t as pronounced in homosexual relationships."
I guess what I'm trying to say is whether you're comparing this one to that one, or the old one to the new one; the moment you compare things to other things is the moment you lose significance in all things.
After writing this post I just wanted to put a disclaimer out there that this entry is completely based on just random thoughts and is not meant to hurt, defame, attack, nor ridicule anyone in particular… just random thoughts that are meant to be illustrative based on a few water-cooler conversations, chits and chats while shits and giggles, casual encounters (in the bathroom or otherwise stated), et aliae. And if by chance you feel a deeper connection with the content of this entry, which so happens to feel like guilt, then may the judge and the jury in this case, known as the good Lord, have at it…
A few months pass and we got in contact with one of my cousins, asking him where he lives. The word on the street was they were renting a house near my parents house.
"I can't tell you that," my cousin says shamefully.
We told our cousin whatever drama our parents have with each other, shouldn't be a reason for us to cast judgment on you. God forbid anyone judge me based on the shady things my parents have done... my mom is a bookie for fuck sake.
Which brings me to the ulam of my story: What makes a person measure someone's behavior with one yard stick, then measures another person's behavior with the same yard stick?
the observation
Over the past couple of years of singlehood, I've notice a trend in the behaviors of those around me. Whether we're talking, dating, getting to know each other, putting the fun in friendship, or even just enjoying each others company; there always comes a point where someone is compared to the "proverbial" ex. Either your significant other compares themselves to your "ex" or you are compared to their "ex". I'm pretty sure there are various other outcomes to this equation; however, in my case, it was the 'other' that did the comparing.
the comparison
Again, without getting too deep into it (and also not naming any names), the person I was seeing at the time kept comparing our relationship with that of 9 years. Although our time together was relatively brief --shorter than any of those relationships in the Tigergate scandal-- a substantial amount of time and energy was spent arguing the irrelevance between my relationship with my ex and my current relationship. For that reason alone, I always make it a point to not talk about an ex during the time I'm trying to get to know you.
(btw, if you use the term "Tigergate or Climategate" in the last 72 hours, you should be tarred, feathered, then have your body dragged in the middle of Tianamen Square and given a choice to either be shot or ran over by a tank.)
More recently, a friend of mine and I got into a simple debate about the appropriate length of time it takes to take a decent shower. For those of you who REALLY know me, knows that I like to ensure some type of bathing before, after, and sometimes during anything that involves some kind of high intensity sweating. In this case, (if you don't follow me on Twitter) I haven't taken a shower for 2 days since there was no hot water at my place. You Betcha By Golly Wow I wasn't livin' on the edge during those 48 hours.
Nonetheless, after much humiliation, I decided to give in and say I won't take long showers anymore... when I'm showering over there (in my defense I live alone and no one has ever complained how long my showers take). To be honest, I just wanted to acknowledge his concern and move on; however, catching on to my disinterest in the subject matter, he then says, "See! That's what [expletive] used to do and I HATE that. That's why I know it'll never workout between me and you."
SIDE NOTE:
Before continuing on, I just wanted to clarify the latter part of the quote didn't hurt as much as the former; but in the end, a judgment was made on me based on someone I've never met before. I guess that's what bothered me the most.
the conclusion
After thinking about this for a couple of days, I confronted my friend about his backhanded comment and he ironically pointed to a quote from his ex's Facebook page.
"you will blame a new love for something the old one did"
~From: Friend's Ex's Facebook Page's Facebook Status
Though we are not lovers by any means, the same principle was used to slap me in the face for a 4th time. I guess I'll never understand why, as humans, we do what we do. What is it about our culture why we reference significant things to us based on other things that are not?
If we go on the supposition that we are a reflection of our loved ones, then we support the basic anthropological human expression, "we are attracted to things that remind us of ourselves."
"Separate evolution of the self isn’t as pronounced in homosexual relationships."
I guess what I'm trying to say is whether you're comparing this one to that one, or the old one to the new one; the moment you compare things to other things is the moment you lose significance in all things.
After writing this post I just wanted to put a disclaimer out there that this entry is completely based on just random thoughts and is not meant to hurt, defame, attack, nor ridicule anyone in particular… just random thoughts that are meant to be illustrative based on a few water-cooler conversations, chits and chats while shits and giggles, casual encounters (in the bathroom or otherwise stated), et aliae. And if by chance you feel a deeper connection with the content of this entry, which so happens to feel like guilt, then may the judge and the jury in this case, known as the good Lord, have at it…
Friday, December 4, 2009
Transits: Squares, Trines, and Sextiles
These past couple of years have never been so confusing.
.:Squares:.
After a record-breaking summer of death, a booming housing market, and the best volatile economy EVER; I topped off the charts with my streak in high-quantity/low-quality dating I've ever had. It's like my status has been smacked down by the Hand of God himself, which was the catalyst for my fall down the social ladder.
~The One~
After 9 years of ups and downs, The One makes a professional move to New York only for me to find out that he's been talking to someone else because "the body has needs."
~The Rebound~
Decided to work things out with his ex because the ex had the "It Factor". Ironically, him and his ex were repeat offenders and the "It Factor" became the "Ex Factor" once again.
~The Other One~
Insecure of The One's track record of 9 years, The Other One spent the next year trying to "prove himself" worthy after choosing his ex over me... twice.
~The Ottoman~
Had the suckiest phone service EVER. Apparently his phone calls you while he's fucking someone else.
.:Trines:.
It's been some time since I've discussed my unstable Daffy Duck state of mind on this thing, but that's only because my friends tell me that I'm fucking crazy for putting my business out there. I usually tell them, "it's better to put my business out there instead of putting yours...now go fuck yourselves..."
The truth is I haven't been the same since that incident with Ottoman and in fact that was probably the first time I've ever admitted to it. After weeks of living an unsocial reclusive lifestyle, Panelope convinced me to get my shit together cuz it's about time I need to take care of myself for a change.
“No man is worth your tears, but once you find one that is, he won't make you cry.”
Whatever douche bag came up with that quote is a fucking genius... but you're still a douche bag.
.:Sextiles:.
As if things couldn't get awkward enough with Pukang Kai and I lately. During one of my visits back home she told me she's been in contact with one of her childhood friends from El Salvador. She said during the war his family escaped and moved to Spain where he ended up becoming a doctor of medicine. She said she wants me to meet him when he visits the states over the Holidays.
As always, I'm not paying any attention to Pukangs as she continues to tell me about her friend.
"Wait, where do you want me to take him?" Thinking I was supposed to drive him around site seeing or something...
Pukangs replies, "He's REALLY cute... and the best part... he's gay."
"Oh..."
Awkward silence cloaks the room from any signs of reason or comfort.
Word to the wise: If you're thinking of playing matchmaker for one of your friends... don't.
The One wanted to know why I didn't want to meet the Doctor. It's simple... I'm not interested. And more importantly, I don't think The One has ANY say on what I do with my life anyways.
I told him that since I've spent the last couple of years striking out in relationships, I've decided to use my energy I would've put into a relationship into helping others who can't help themselves.
Below is a link to a session I had with a coworker of mine that moonlights as an astrologer. At the time, I had NO clue what she was talking about, but it all makes sense now; the near future holds Tequila and Puerto Rico.
.:Squares:.
After a record-breaking summer of death, a booming housing market, and the best volatile economy EVER; I topped off the charts with my streak in high-quantity/low-quality dating I've ever had. It's like my status has been smacked down by the Hand of God himself, which was the catalyst for my fall down the social ladder.
~The One~
After 9 years of ups and downs, The One makes a professional move to New York only for me to find out that he's been talking to someone else because "the body has needs."
~The Rebound~
Decided to work things out with his ex because the ex had the "It Factor". Ironically, him and his ex were repeat offenders and the "It Factor" became the "Ex Factor" once again.
~The Other One~
Insecure of The One's track record of 9 years, The Other One spent the next year trying to "prove himself" worthy after choosing his ex over me... twice.
~The Ottoman~
Had the suckiest phone service EVER. Apparently his phone calls you while he's fucking someone else.
.:Trines:.
It's been some time since I've discussed my unstable Daffy Duck state of mind on this thing, but that's only because my friends tell me that I'm fucking crazy for putting my business out there. I usually tell them, "it's better to put my business out there instead of putting yours...now go fuck yourselves..."
The truth is I haven't been the same since that incident with Ottoman and in fact that was probably the first time I've ever admitted to it. After weeks of living an unsocial reclusive lifestyle, Panelope convinced me to get my shit together cuz it's about time I need to take care of myself for a change.
“No man is worth your tears, but once you find one that is, he won't make you cry.”
Whatever douche bag came up with that quote is a fucking genius... but you're still a douche bag.
.:Sextiles:.
As if things couldn't get awkward enough with Pukang Kai and I lately. During one of my visits back home she told me she's been in contact with one of her childhood friends from El Salvador. She said during the war his family escaped and moved to Spain where he ended up becoming a doctor of medicine. She said she wants me to meet him when he visits the states over the Holidays.
As always, I'm not paying any attention to Pukangs as she continues to tell me about her friend.
"Wait, where do you want me to take him?" Thinking I was supposed to drive him around site seeing or something...
Pukangs replies, "He's REALLY cute... and the best part... he's gay."
"Oh..."
Awkward silence cloaks the room from any signs of reason or comfort.
Word to the wise: If you're thinking of playing matchmaker for one of your friends... don't.
The One wanted to know why I didn't want to meet the Doctor. It's simple... I'm not interested. And more importantly, I don't think The One has ANY say on what I do with my life anyways.
I told him that since I've spent the last couple of years striking out in relationships, I've decided to use my energy I would've put into a relationship into helping others who can't help themselves.
Below is a link to a session I had with a coworker of mine that moonlights as an astrologer. At the time, I had NO clue what she was talking about, but it all makes sense now; the near future holds Tequila and Puerto Rico.
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